ARISTOCATS

Stop me if you've heard this one. Tom cat walks into a fat cat's office and tells him he's got an act to promote.
"I married this cute little wild cat who used to be a show cat and God bless her, let me tell you this little pussy has an act you won't believe. She comes out on stage, shaves down, burns her whiskers with a blow torch,and gives birth to a litter of kittens. Now here's where I come out dressed Dr. scrubs. I help her give birth. Then I toss the kittens in the air, pull out a shotgun and blast them like furry clay pigeons. Then the wife pulls out her teeth and goes down on me, takes a crap on the stage and as i come she pulls a fiddle out of her ass and plays Nearer to God than Thee.You would think this would be enough, but she always holds back a few kittens that she propells from her cunt into the audience like those popping party favors. Sometimes we hire a pitbull as a ringer, who sits in the front row, catches the kittens between his teeth and swallows them whole. Other times it's a redneck with a burlap sack who drowns them in a bucket of water."

The fat cat leans back in his chair, sticks a cigar in his mouth and looks at the Tom cat in shock. "Christ almighty that's a blood bath. What do you call it?"
"PETA."